We owe a lot to our ancestors. Behind each of us is a lineage of hunters, gatherers, warriors, and survivors. Their skills helped them endure, and those traits still influence us today. But some of what we’ve inherited can lead us astray.
Our instincts, shaped long before civilization, can override logic. For example, we often gravitate toward taller or more confident leaders, assuming they’re more capable. This can lead us to mistake style for substance. How often does someone win leadership simply by saying the right things, while real competence takes a backseat?
If we’re not mindful, we fall into these traps. We focus on appearing in control instead of actually being effective. Over time, we polish our image, but the real skills that matter get left behind.
The trap of appearances
As a leader, it’s easy to feel vulnerable. You want validation because so much of what you do goes unnoticed. Good leadership is often invisible, rooted in the long-term, not flashy actions. And when the going gets tough, it’s tempting to chase recognition.
But you’re not leading for applause. You lead because it’s the right thing to do, and that’s what matters. Leadership is about results measured over the years, not in quick wins or daily praise. Chasing external validation can lead you to measure success with the wrong metrics.
Embrace vulnerability
It’s uncomfortable to look foolish, especially as a leader. It can feel like you’re losing credibility. But the truth is, those moments where you admit fault, ask for help, or don’t know something are incredibly valuable.
Each of these moments compounds, making you a better leader over time. The small risks you take to look a bit silly allow you to build wisdom and experience. If you can stomach these short-term hits to your ego, you’ll unlock a deeper understanding that will serve you and your team in the long run.
Leaders don’t just theorize—they jump in, make mistakes, and learn. Those who avoid looking foolish often avoid growth. And that’s a far greater loss than a moment of embarrassment.
Set the tone for growth
As a leader, you set the tone for your team. When you embrace discomfort and pursue improvement, you inspire others to do the same. This creates an environment where people feel empowered to grow and take risks.
You won’t always get recognition for this, but that’s not the point. You’ll get something far better: a team that trusts you and thrives under your leadership. Watching them reach their potential will be far more satisfying than any superficial praise.
Drop the ego, build real trust
This week, drop the ego and be real with your team. Forget about trying to look perfect or always being right. Instead, show up with honesty and let people see your true self. That’s what builds real trust and drives progress.
People aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think—they’ve got their own problems. What they will notice, though, is whether you know your stuff and can make the hard calls. You can’t fake that, and that’s what really matters in the end. So, stop chasing empty praise and focus on growth. No matter what happens, you’ll know you gave it your all.
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